Travel More. Love More.
WARNING AND DISCLAIMER: This article readership is for "Adults Only" for those with some amount of "Emotional Intelligence" and some "Relationship Experience". Men and Women with weak hearts and minds, please proceed at your own reading risk. OR STOP HERE. These thoughts are perfectly and personally mine. Its my perspective. Love it or Hate it, at-least you are gonna read it. Your reading it is at your own risk and it indemnifies me from your reactions. There is a possibility that you may Rant, Rave or Freak out at my thoughts. I am not asking or pleading or requesting anyone (male or female) to agree to my views or to join any movement.
Introduction.
If the following statement, “The debate is eternal. Which gender of the human race – the man or the woman – is weaker, and which, the stronger, naturally? “ is used as a base or beginning for a healthy debate on, ”Who is weaker or stronger? Man or Woman? Then there will never be a healthy conclusion to this debate as we would be comparing between two different genders. One male, one female. One man, one woman.
Since time immemorial we are made to believe that they are only two genders’s competing for each other's attention on planet earth. Man & Woman are definitely not equal in any manner. If they were equal, then they would not be a differentiation of man and woman. If they are equal, they are only on one ground that is they are intrinsically and intricately human.
Gender discrimination is a defect of modern day living and modern lifestyle living. If the same concept of hunter and home keeper (gatherer) was maintained till today, where was the question of who is stronger than whom? Today's modern day “daily bread” earner or “financial needs provider” would be the equivalent of the ancient hunter. The modern day housewife or house manager would be the equivalent of “Gatherer” or Cave Keeper. The problem happens when man wants to do what a woman can and when a woman wants to overdo or outdo any man.
The best argument that a man and woman cannot be considered equal besides from a humanitarian point is the inability of any man NATURALLY getting pregnant or any woman being able to commit the horrendous crime of raping a man.
If today, men think & treat woman as a THING or something to be “owned”, it's because of their ancient religious thought that has been inculcated from one generation to another. All the major monotheist religions have preached & practiced that man is superior than woman, that man is head and woman is a tail that lags behind. Still they have the audacity and tenacity to say that their religious teachings treat women and men equally. This hypocritical belief is carried forward in their respective behaviors with the opposite sex. That’s why we have people believing in, “pati parmeshwar” and men are the “head” of the families, stereotypes. Only free thinkers & intellectuals avoid and oppose strongly such inequalities amongst the human genders.
Even after having dozens of ensembles and choices of garments and with much more attire choices than the man has, still the fair sex wants to get into men’s clothes. Even a fiery Almighty God Yahweh of the Old Testament times, could not make his female worshippers avoid wearing clothes of men thousands of years ago as mentioned in the Hebrew Scriptures or Old Testament of the book called, “The Bible”.
Today we have men admitting and coming out in the open by registering their FIR's against their female spouses who are beating them black and blue. What do the female organizations have to say about it? It's everyone's guess they must be in blissful glee that at last, man is getting a dose of his own sweet medicine.
In our land of India where female deity, Durga is worshipped the same men and women degenerate women by female infanticide. We worship Goddess Lakshmi and still curse when a baby girl is born. We worship Saraswati, Goddess of Knowledge but how many men in India are aware that they are responsible when a boy or girl that is born?
Everyone is getting married, everywhere. Some call it an institution. An institution if it is, where its rules & regulations are?. Some call it a Contract. A Contract if it is then, where are its Terms & Conditions?. As a hunter, every man has a roving eye. God knew this too, that's why one of his ten commandments was, “Thou shall not covet or desire or lust your neighbor’s wife.”
We are approaching the age, when sooner or later, only those couples who greatly desire to procreate, will be getting married. Yes. Marriage will be just for the purpose of making a family as every new child has to have the right of having a father and mother. Otherwise man and woman will outgrow the need of outdated marriages. There are more divorces because there are more marriages. There is more unfaithfulness because there is little openness.
In today's commercial world, companies want you to find your true love and your marriage partner, cause in this process you are spending millions from your first date till your chosen marriage mate.
Marriage should have been a “union” of two bodies, minds & soul. But alas, look around and one can hardly find a lovely couple in love. Even the worldwide respected and honoured magazine, “National Geographic” gives only 4 years for any marriage to get fizzled out of all its, “love” sparks. Just with the simple passage of time, the marriage bed of roses becomes a crown of thorns. So truly one has said, that “Marriages may be made in heaven, but divorces happen on earth”.
So many questions remain unanswered. Why do we women take pride in flaunting our mangalsutras or sindoors? To show to the world the following: I am settled. I am married, hit me not. I have found my soul mate.
Or are they the symbols of loyalty to ‘one man’ and the sense of belonging to him? Of committing to bonded or regular sex to one man only by man-made laws and Godly sanctions. I am asking, Is this not legal prostitution? Yes. It refers to like a table that is taken or reserved in a restaurant.
Or do they give us the emotional satisfaction of having a man of our own (who also happens to own us)? Yes. The man thinks he “owns” the woman and the woman thinks she is “ruling” the man.
Many are made to believe that, Marriage is a, “Sacred Commitment”. As though written in steel and bonded in unbreakable cement. Many were told, “Add God in your marriage, to make it work”. Still problems existed. Then the married man is told, make babies fast, to keep a wayward wife's feet fixed solid to the ground. At the same time, the married woman is told, give your man babies fast, and make him responsible. Man maketh babies, babies maketh a Man.
Very often, woman is called to be the motivational force behind every man. How far is this true? Do men always keep women at the back of their minds while they wish to achieve some targets? Or do they think of them as hurdles in their way of ‘so called’ success? Men are too good at the blame game. When anything goes wrong, they blame the woman, when they become successful the woman gets the credit too. There is truth in the saying, “Behind every successful man there is 1 woman”, and “Behind every un-successful man there are 2 women”.
Equality lies in understanding and realizing what is manly and what is womanly possible in every relationship. Before treating your partner as a man or woman, learn to treat that person as a human.
Thank the Creator or Nature, that man and women are different. Yet individually independent or collectively dependent as per their choice. A person can be happy single or married. A person can be happily married with or without children. A person can be happy even after a divorce or still can be happy, adjusting in a married relationship.
It is the conditioning of the minds, the brainwashing by religious thoughts, through centuries old traditions, that man was counted as the superior sex. All this just to maintain harmony & peace in the community called, “Family”.
Today, a man can have a family without the aid of a woman and so also vice versa. We are living in the times of, “Sperm Banks”, “Surrogate Mother's”, “Single Parenting”, “Unmarried males & females adopting children”. Man can today decide to have a family without getting married. Same is the case for the independent career oriented woman. Gone are the days, when a man was needed to father a child at home. Today men and women can choose to have sex either for procreation or recreation. Today even an ever virgin woman can deliver a “test tube baby” without ever having sex with a man!
Another strong point is, barring exceptions, why no man ever wishes to sacrifice his job for his family? Given a choice, men opt for jobs abroad, leaving behind the wife, children and family. And then, why it is always that, women refuse to accept promotions that demand changing of cities or enhance job responsibilities? Why do they withdraw from professions that offer material gains compensating with increased work load? Why do they just say NO to such package deals that take away their ‘precious’ time at ‘home’ and keep them engaged in office work at odd hours? Does anyone have an answer?
This is the collective result of, “Manly Ego” which was nurtured from the cradle to the grave from one generation to another. Like the sweet Bebinca, these so called egos have been layered, layer upon layer, by the opposite sex by mother's, sister's and other females over the years. There is a popular saying, “It takes a woman as a mother, 20 years to make a man out of her child and it takes just 20 minutes or a little more for another woman as a wife or lover to make a child out of the same man.” This controlling ego’s brings out a confused man who wants to take the lead, become a leader of his life by breaking from the motherly affection and not falling flat to the charms of a seductive wife. From the motherly suckling breasts to the seductive wife's breasts, the journey is a difficult one understood only by men.
Slaves of the New Economy.
Today everything is glamorized. You get married. Throw a party. Getting divorced. Throw a party and show off your new partners to be. We are forgetting that a human being as a person can be perfectly happy, single, married, living together, open marriage, divorced or whatever. To have a mutually satisfying relationship is the need of the hour.
Some may consider marriage as emotional or physical slavery for life, its how one looks at it. But believe it or not, we humans, men or women have become slaves of the new economy because we believe what the Corporate world wants us to believe and they have all the mediums of communication to plant a seed about their ideas of love, commitment, marriage and a host of other human relationships. “A diamond is a woman's best friend”. Who made this belief a permanent one? The Diamond Mining Company, De Biers. Since then they have sold billions of diamonds. Otherwise, before this advertising campaign it was just another shining stone.
In today's modern day marriage relationships, pressures are coming equally from both partners. Many a time’s one partner is to be blamed, but most of the times both are equally responsible for a complicated relationship.
The first honeymoon can never, ever be repeated again. If we understand this then we won't be disappointed. Change is constant in every relationship especially where lust, love and longing are involved.
Man can be from Mars and Woman can be from Venus but with a little bit of awareness, maturity and understanding they can live happily live on Planet Earth.